Thursday: OSU vs. Marshall and Gari vs. Bathtub

Many of you have been asking (or you shy ones have hinted around looking for information) about showering.  I've been taking sponge baths, then shampooing my hair at the sink. So I've been looking forward to moving on to the next level:  a bath.  The doctor told me early on that I couldn't shower.  I squeaked out: "What?  That's a deal-breaker."  But he told me that I could take a bath and hang my leg over the side.  Yeh, sure, doesn't sound doable.  "All of my other patients do it."  Well, that was throwing down the guantlet.  I've seen some of his other patients.  I'm clearly more agile than that 85 year old guy with liver spots and that 400 lb. woman.  Yessir, I can do this. 
   Well, the first barrier is that the bathtub is on the second floor.  Crutches, walker, knee wheeler, wheel chair?  Nope, not helpful in climbing stairs.  Baby scooting, sitting down.  Sit down, hold your left leg up, hands on step above, push up, lift your rump up, then slide it back, sit down on next step.  Repeat ...15 more times!  Thanks Shelli Sanzo, trainer, for making me do all those bicep/tricep exercises.  
   At the turn of the stairs, it's time to call on Nurse Glenn who has been hovering in front of me, trying not to look nervous while he clearly was planning the best way to stop my slide to the bottom of the steps!  As I get to the landing I say "Go around me to the top and figure out how to get me from a sitting position to a one-legged standing position."  Chair, newel post, walker, helping hand, hold your mouth just right and suddenly he has me standing on the second floor.   
  On to the bathtub.  Hang one leg over the edge...hmmm...sounds easy, but how to get into that seated position?  First, I call for no-slip sox, since I'll only have one foot down.  Not to be found, so I put on my old Keens. Need a walker and a chair.  Got it.  Wash cloth and towel.  Got it. One foot in the tub, the other one hanging in mid-air off the floor.  Ease down into the water.  I'm now in the tub, wearing a shoe with the wrapped leg hanging over the side. (Take that 85 year old guy!)  Ooops.  Forgot soap and shampoo.  Oh well, the grandkids were the last in, so I have access to gingerbread foam soap and fairy berry shampoo.  At this point, I don't care if I do smell like Christmas dinner...wash on.  Getting out of the tub is another engineering feat, but hurray, it's done and the process didn't take more than an hour. 
  Now that the bath is over I look around the second floor carefully.  For a couple of days I said that I would like to go upstairs and Glenn kept saying "not a good idea".  Then he finally told me that upstairs has become his lair. Lair?  Nothing looks different. His lair, what does that mean? Oh, yes, nothing looks different.  It hasn't been invaded by medical stuff, ice holders, pillows and drinking cups. It's neat...definitely lair material.